- Captain’s Chair Ticket CHECK!
- William Shatner Photo Op CHECK!
- Nichelle Nichols Photo Op CHECK!
- Plane Ticket CHECK!
- Rio Suites Reservation CHECK!
- Tailored Uniforms CHECK!
- Time off scheduled CHECK!
- Babysitter scheduled CHECK!
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Happy 5th Birthday to my Twinnies!
Photos taken by “The Look” Photography
Sometimes you are not suited to something. For instance, I doubt that I would make a very good doctor. Even assuming I could get through medical school passing fair I don’t care for blood and gore, my personality isn’t chock full of empathy, in short, my bedside manner would suck and my attention span is such that I wouldn’t be able to stay with the task on hand.
You may love basketball. You could spend hours practicing and trying to hone your skills. You may have a real passion for the game. But you may also be five foot nothing and a chubby white female. No matter your great desire and your no-quit attitude you are unlikely to become a member of the WNBA. BUT… you can support the local booster club. You can be a team supporter and go to games and cheer. You can focus that love in other ways. When we redirect this way it’s usually looked on as being REALISTIC.
When someone realizes as a part of that natural progression from childhood to young adult to mature adult that they are not suited to a particular career and they instead steer themselves to something they are good at we applaud it as self-awareness. We don’t call a mean-spirited spazmatron a quitter for not going into medicine. So I wonder then, why are we so hard on people in other aspects of their life.
Let’s take another example. I know several very happy, long-lived couples who have chosen for personal reasons not to have children. (Incidentally they all do have pets.) Why do they get viewed as ‘less than’ or ‘a bit strange’? Perhaps they have the self-awareness to know they are suited to be parents. Isn’t it a good thing if folks like that abstain from inflicting themselves on another human life; especially a life that would depend so heavily on them for so many years? Don’t you suppose that folks ill-prepared for parenthood just might be the ones that end up with neglected or abused children? Even if they try very hard to be good parents perhaps they simply don’t have the genetic makeup for it. Why do we debase those folks?
I personally have become aware of something about myself. And up to this point in my life I thought I was a failure and a quitter. I thought I was doing something wrong, I thought I had fallen short somehow. I realize now that it’s not true. There is nothing wrong with me. I am simply not suited to be in the role of wife\girlfriend. I’m no damn good at it. It doesn’t have anything to do with a lack of effort either. I’m not a bad or immoral person. In fact, I think I’m quite moral, kind-hearted, generous and loving. But I don’t have the genetic make-up to be involved with another adult for whom I’ve no real connection outside of sating a need for companionship. Certainly some of it could be marked up to poor matches. But I don’t think that’s the whole story. I see too many inequities in the male\female union. I have a big problem with that and because I’m not an idiot I have a hard time letting it pass. Do not misunderstand. I am not suggesting that folks in blissfully happy relationships are simpering dimwits. However, I may be subtly suggesting that at least within the realm of their partnership they are least overlooking much and at most lying their asses off about the bliss.
I spent years feeling like a catastrophe over my divorces and other failed relationships. I thought I had let-down my kids, my family, myself, God and pretty much everyone. I realize now that shit happens and life goes on. Not only that, but I simply don’t fit well into that mold. I am a good friend, mom, sister, daughter, aunt, teacher, worker…. But I suck at being a partner (and not in a good way). I’ve come to terms with it. I have decided to focus on all those other relationships and aspects of my life that bring me joy and allow me to give joy. If we only get this one life why would you want spend one single minute struggling in a pit of despair?
Embrace the horror! Love your bad-self an always be who you are. Unless you can be a unicorn, then always be a unicorn.
The object is to write everyday in 2014!!! For reals this time! And I am already a day behind so good thing I can back date entries! OH!
— 2014 Journal —
I will also add the writing prompt resources I’m using as I move along…
Also check out my Links page for more Writing Resources!!
“You cannot define yourself in reference to other external coordinates, you must define yourself internally with a relationship with a higher entity. Think of yourself as a manifestation of some higher “thing”, some higher frequency, this is the visible realization. And you know that because you can’t see atoms can you? You certainly can’t see the forces that hold atoms together. There in the micro quantum world [Richard], lie the answers to everything. we cant understand it with our logical rational minds, but we feel it, intuitively. get yourself in alignment with that stuff and you BEAM like the sun.” ~ Russel Brand, 2013
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Well it has now been a full week since my surgery. I’m still not 100% but definitely better than I was last week. I’m looking forward to returning to work on Monday cause I’m starting to feel a little stir-crazy. I don’t go for my surgery follow-up until the 29th and as I understand it I am on weight and activity restrictions until my doctor says otherwise at that appointment. Guess it’s good that I sit at a desk all day. I did logon to work for a couple hours on Monday and hardly made a dent in the nightmare that was my inbox. It kinda stressed me out a little more than I expected so I decided to not login the rest of the week and to just finish out my week off without dealing with it… not like it won’t be there waiting for me on Monday! I don’t know what people do on vacation, not that this has really been a vacation since I don’t consider a hospital stay something I’d plan regularly! I’m just saying that I have been pretty well bored to tears. Been doing a lot of sleeping and reading with the kid-lings in summer school.
In other news, I am contemplating trading in my mini-van for something new. Not really sure what yet. Talked to the dealership I usually work with and with my credit union today and it seems like I have all green lights to upgrade. So… maybe Friday to end the time-off with something a little more exciting I will go get a new car!
I just put my munchkins to bed after watching Wreck-it Ralph for probably the 50th time. I have to say, it is pretty darn cute. Now just waiting for the large kid to appear from his shenanigans in town and kind of starting to wonder why he is not home yet.
And, one last item, some people (you know who you are) should not be selfish pricks who put themselves and their cheating, lying bullshit before their kids. If you have a problem with your wife\girlfriend that’s fine. The ladies are old enough to deal with it — but you don’t get to use your kids as go-betweens, or whine to them about how Mommy is being mean, or tell them you can’t see them because Mommy won’t let you pull them out of school mid-week so you can have your weekend free. You do have to pay your child support and you do get to piss off!
That is all.
Just updated to the latest rev of WordPress (3.6). Trying out the lovely new theme which I felt had a bit of a fall feel to it.
Hope everyone has a blessed harvest!
In light of the current political culture I think it’s worth noting that today is celebrated to remind of us our hard fought freedoms and rights.
At the top of that list, clearly highlighted in our first amendment and one of the primary reasons our ancestors sailed into the unknown was to be free of religious persecution.
We came here to be a free people. We drafted a Constitution that was designed to grant rights to our citizenry, not to remove them. We have NEVER been a theocracy – that’s exactly what we sailed away from! So when I hear people ranting about how granting rights to others some how infringes their own rights I am at a loss. How does giving others rights take away from the rights that you already have?? The answer, IT DOESN’T.
The bottom line is this… our FREE country and its Constitution that we fought so hard to win protect ALL the citizens. The rights we agreed upon as being duly granted to all people – like free speech, religion and the right to happiness are for ALL people not just some. Your personal religious convictions simply do not play into that. That same first amendment protects ALL religious beliefs, not just yours.
Just because Pagans, Gays, Women or other Minorities now have the same rights that you do does not mean your rights are lessened. It simply means that we are FINALLY coming around to this notion that we started with from the beginning — ALL people have equal rights under the law.
This doesn’t in any way change your beliefs or morals or how you personally run your home or live your life. Let’s be perfectly clear — if you don’t agree with homosexuality then don’t be with someone of the same sex. If you think embryos have a right to life then don’t use birth control or get an abortion. If you don’t believe in science fact then teach creationism to your children at home.
BUT what you do not get to do, what you NEVER get to do is tell me or anyone else how to live or what to believe, you do not get to tell anyone else who they can love or what they can do with their own bodies. You do not get to reduce every grade school science classroom into a mythology class.
You mind your business and I’ll mind mine – we both follow the rule of law and everything will be fine. Some people tend to forget that the ‘heathens’ came first; in the grand scheme of things Christianity and Islam, and yes I will single these out as they are the only ones spewing hate in my opinion, are relative newcomers to the world and they’ve brought more death and destruction than I could easily list. No one on the other side of this argument is telling you how to live your life – we don’t care! Extremism on either side will never (and should never) win out. We just want what’s fair for everyone, and that is also what the Constitution strives to protect. It’s exactly what we left England for 237 years ago.
You don’t have to agree with me but you also don’t get to claim offense or damage if I disagree with you.
Have a Happy and Safe Independence Day and in honor of this day treat everyone with respect and fairness today and everyday.